Fake Positivity?
This is, in my opinion, one of the most interesting subjects ever. Does such a thing as fake positivity exist? Or positivity is just positivity?
Let’s look into it for a moment for having a better understanding. Open Facebook, Instagram and, of course, appears in front of you one of those memes with “Be positive, be grateful…etc.” and for a second you feel a sensation of good, empowerment and you say to yourself: “Yes, that’s right! Everything IS ok!” Do we all experience this? I think the answer is yes. Or listen to a song with very motivational message like Sia, Unstoppable (please, choose your song, that’s mine!)…Wow! For a second there you just felt like you already climbed Everest, you just won The Nobel Prize or found the cure for cancer. Another great example is a conversation with a very positive friend, after half an hour you are already on top of the world. Or reading a self-development book, watching the movie “The secret” and the list can go on and on. These are very good, right?
The problem is that the emotion that all these things is not long lasting, am I right? Look at yourself and tell me for how long all this emotions lasted?
The timings can vary from 30 seconds to half an hour or longer. The day after you wake up with the same mood, same thoughts, same problems and the positive emotion from yesterday is completely gone. And again the same thing happens, again a post, a movie etc. But the problem is that is not sustainable. Is like living on a rollercoaster of emotions where you are binging from ecstasy to low self-esteem which at the end is just frustrating you more and you start wondering what the Hell is wrong with me?
Let’s go back to our first question. Is there such thing as fake positivity or positivity is just positivity? And if positivity is good to swallow anyway then why the feeling is not sustainable? The answer is simple. The positivity that doesn’t come from within is not sustainable. You cannot feed yourself positivity from Instagram posts and expect to be fine because like this you are denying your own emotions and trust me there is no way to do that.
Yes, there is such thing as fake positivity. Is that time when you do not know why you are sad but you want to be cheerful because someone told you so. Your emotions are valid and that is the only way to make them better. Accept when you feel down, is ok to feel down. Feel it and deal with it. Is ok to feel angry, feel it, allow it without judgement. All your emotions are valid. You cannot cancel the way you feel because Tony Robbins said you have to be positive in a 2 minutes video on Instagram. What he said is fine too but first accept all of you, without judgement and see further how you can heal. It will take time, efforts and a sea of motivation but is there waiting for you.
Practices like self-love, gratitude and meditation are far better than seeing endless videos on Youtube. Trust the process, give yourself time and care, also try to stay away from anything that is telling you the way you have to feel.
Don’t forget your emotions are valid and they are here for a reason! Allow them, embrace them and heal them!
Monica Burtavel
Family & Relationships Counselor,
NLP Transformational coach,
Timeline & Hypnosis therapist.