Reflections about happiness
Are you happy? when was the last time you heard this question? And when was the last time you asked yourself this question? It is a tough one, trust me. Not because it requires a complicated answer or because it needs some sort of deep assessment but because people, usually, don’t even know the answer.
Why?Because they don’t really know what makes them happy. We live in a time where happiness is equal money, success or fame. But is it that simple? If that would be true why do we see so many billionaires committing suicide, using drugs or suffering from depression? I discovered recently that we have a problem with happiness, just by sitting with some friends and having coffee.
Picture this: sitting in a coffeehouse and a guy comes in smiling, listening to music and looking genuinely happy. A friend of mine asked the group: “Why is he so happy? Can someone go and ask him?” And then it hit me, people are always waiting for an outer reason for happiness and we don’t even allow the thought of happiness without assigning it a reason. Always. We are always waiting for a better job, new bag, exotic vacation, the dream car, a
specific person to come into our lives or even a pet to make us happy. And after the excitement of that new item that just arrived we go back waiting for the next one to make us happy.
Please, dear reader, observe the pattern. People are like cats waiting for the next meal to relax and enjoy their nap. That is the exact description of how exactly we are managing our relationship with happiness.
But what if that is not happiness? Or what if those things are not coming? Yes, that is a possibility. The dream car is not coming and the specific person found someone else. That means that happiness is not coming also, right?
Imagine yourself waking up feeling happy. Due to your old patterns, the first question that came into your mind is, of course, WHY? We see everywhere on social media memes with: “Happiness is a choice”…but is it?
The answer is yes. Happiness is a choice but is not a choice like choosing a new car or buying a new lipstick. Happiness comes only from a life lived true to your true self. A life lived without masks, without fears, without second thoughts. Happiness can come only by living that truth that we are always hiding from the world. Happiness is not a pursue. Happiness is a byproduct of a meaningful life.
Of course debating this meaningful life we need another ten pages of Word but for now let’s just leave it like this. And I will say it again: happiness is the byproduct of a meaningful life. A life with purpose. A life lived to empower others, a life lived for a greater good. How many people you think are living like this? Not a lot, let me assure you. That is why most of the humanity
lives in fear, disappointment and, actually, to express it better, they don’t really live, they are waiting to die.
That is the ultimate truth. People don’t live, they are just waiting to die. They don’t even pursue happiness because they think is not meant for everyone.
So is happiness a choice?
Yes it is a choice.
Start assessing your life right now at this very moment. How it looks like? It excites you to wake up in the morning? Are your daily deeds bringing you joy? Can you look at yourself in the mirror without judgement and dislikes?
Think very hard about it and start making changes. Check what would really bring a smile on your face. And start living. Start feeling alive. Start your happiness!
Monica Burtavel
Family & Relationships Counselor,
NLP Transformational coach,
Timeline & Hypnosis therapist.